Blog

If you’re thinking of working with a therapist, it’s a good idea to be clear about what is prompting you, and what you would like to have happen as you prepare for therapy. A good therapist is sure to ask you what is bringing you and what you want to focus on. Here are some questions to reflect on to help you feel prepared and confident when you are looking for a new therapist: 1. What brings you to therapy? 2. Why now? 3. What are your goals for therapy? 4. What will b

“Losing your way is oftentimes the only way to find something you did not know you were looking for.” I found this quote saved on my phone, unfortunately I cannot recall where I read it. Reading it again it spoke to me and I thought I’d blog about the chord it struck. When we know our way, we have a tendency to be on auto-pilot, navigating confidently along well trodden paths to destinations we perceive we know. It’s easy not to notice what is there along the way, and many pa

"But promise me something, when you meet a young man…Don’t sing his song, because when you split up, you’ll have lost your voice. Harmonies are the way to go, blending together individual pitches, different tones, to form something rather beautiful where each part retains its own character.” I thoroughly enjoy working with couples to help them find balance and satisfaction in their romantic relationships. It’s dynamic, lively work that often moves at a pace, and it also has m

“The quieter you become, the more you are able to hear.” Rumi Oftentimes, clients come into #psychotherapy with a lot to say. Stories, feelings, thoughts and beliefs have been pent up, and the different context gives an outlet for them to flow like a river, as the client freely associates across time and space to tell their story as they perceive it. When this occurs, it’s always a judgement call to work out when to listen, and when to intervene. Bessel can set Kolk wisely c

Here's a reflection on the importance of being honest with yourself about relationships and their dynamics.

You do not need a reason to be as you are. You are you. You are enough. I have been reflecting on the perils of believing that everything must be rationalised, and that reason is all. I often find that people can become trapped in a cycle of thinking, that they must find a reason for whatever is happening. Sometimes, if they can not, they can become stuck and defenceless, unable to act because they can not justify whatever it is that seems good to do. Recognising that r

I learned a new word...and I love learning about language and meanings. So, my word today is antonym. It means the opposite. So, the opposite of dark is light, of up is down, of left is right. Simple, right? Well, not always. Oftentimes in psychotherapy it is very useful to find out what the antonym is for words clients use. For example, a client tells me they do not want to be anxious any more. What does that mean? For one person it may mean they want to be calm. For

“Deep in your wounds are seeds waiting to grow beautiful flowers.” Niti Majethia This idea what what seems to be in the way IS the way is a powerful one. Wounds call our attention to where it is needed, they offer us the opportunity to heal and grow. Like water lilies growing beautiful blooms out of the mud at the bottom of a pond, our pain and suffering are the mud of existence that enable us to grow flowers, some robust and in rude health, others seeming impossibly fragil

Clients come to psychotherapy because they want something to be different to the way things are now. This can be in many different ways,...

My supervisor many moons ago pointed out to me that the client we were discussing was in a hole, and that unfortunately I had climbed in...

Boundaries. A word that is used a lot, to mean many things, like any words its meaning depends on the user and the context. The Cambridge...

I’m in the process of deepening my skills in a trauma technique based on neuro-linguistic programming, a protocol called FIRST (Fast...

When I was a trainee therapist many moons ago, my then supervisor shared these words of wisdom with me. “Offer what you have to offer...

“I am not what happened to me I am who I choose to become” Carl Jung I love this powerful quote from one of the giants of the therapeutic...

I was walking through the park today, and a clasp of feathers floated down from the trees I was walking under and landed right in front...

Spirituality is about connection When I meet new clients, as part of our introductory exploration I always ask about spiritual and...

“All truth passes through three stages. First, it is ridiculed. Second, it is violently opposed. Third, it is accepted as being...

Possibility thinking can be a powerful, energising practice. It can also be a boon when times are tough and you are feeling stuck. It’s...

Providing clinical supervision for counsellors and psychotherapists is a rewarding role. Bearing witness as colleagues grow from...

If you’re thinking of working with a therapist, it’s a good idea to be clear about what is prompting you, and what you want to have...