Blog

You do not need a reason to be as you are. You are you. You are enough. I have been reflecting on the perils of believing that everything must be rationalised, and that reason is all. I often find that people can become trapped in a cycle of thinking, that they must find a reason for whatever is happening. Sometimes, if they can not, they can become stuck and defenceless, unable to act because they can not justify whatever it is that seems good to do. Recognising that r

I learned a new word...and I love learning about language and meanings. So, my word today is antonym. It means the opposite. So, the opposite of dark is light, of up is down, of left is right. Simple, right? Well, not always. Oftentimes in psychotherapy it is very useful to find out what the antonym is for words clients use. For example, a client tells me they do not want to be anxious any more. What does that mean? For one person it may mean they want to be calm. For

“Deep in your wounds are seeds waiting to grow beautiful flowers.” Niti Majethia This idea what what seems to be in the way IS the way is a powerful one.  Wounds call our attention to where it is needed, they offer us the opportunity to heal and grow.  Like water lilies growing beautiful blooms out of the mud at the bottom of a pond, our pain and suffering are the mud of existence that enable us to grow flowers, some robust and in rude health, others seeming impossibly fragil

Clients come to psychotherapy because they want something to be different to the way things are now. This can be in many different ways,...

My supervisor many moons ago pointed out to me that the client we were discussing was in a hole, and that unfortunately I had climbed in...

Boundaries. A word that is used a lot, to mean many things, like any words its meaning depends on the user and the context. The Cambridge...

I’m in the process of deepening my skills in a trauma technique based on neuro-linguistic programming, a protocol called FIRST (Fast...

When I was a trainee therapist many moons ago, my then supervisor shared these words of wisdom with me.   “Offer what you have to offer...

“I am not what happened to me I am who I choose to become” Carl Jung I love this powerful quote from one of the giants of the therapeutic...

I was walking through the park today, and a clasp of feathers floated down from the trees I was walking under and landed right in front...

Spirituality is about connection When I meet new clients, as part of our introductory exploration I always ask about spiritual and...

“All truth passes through three stages. First, it is ridiculed. Second, it is violently opposed. Third, it is accepted as being...

Possibility thinking can be a powerful, energising practice.  It can also be a boon when times are tough and you are feeling stuck. It’s...

Providing clinical supervision for counsellors and psychotherapists is a rewarding role.  Bearing witness as colleagues grow from...

If you’re thinking of working with a therapist, it’s a good idea to be clear about what is prompting you, and what you want to have...

“In order for a child to become kind, giving and empathetic, he needs to be treated that way…A child raised with love wants to make those...

“The truth is you cannot love yourself unless you have been loved and are loved.  The capacity to love cannot be built in isolation.”...

I offer psychotherapy to individuals and couples based in Darlington, and working online for UK clients.  I work in an outcome-oriented...

“A life truly lived constantly burns away veils of illusion, burns away what is no longer relevant, gradually reveals our essence, until,...

“Allow the raw grief and anger travel every cell of your being. Scream at the dying of the light and the injustice of the hell you were...