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My business telephone number has changed, you can now reach me on 01325 260448. My email address is still fejrobinson@gmail.com. For #psychotherapy, #couplescounselling and #clinicalsupervision that goes beyond the obvious and comes from the heart, get in touch.

I was reflecting on the nature of patterns, and took a moment to look up some definitions to help me express what it was I was sensing. The two that resonated were: "an arrangement of repeated or corresponding parts" dictionary.com and "A regular and predictable habit, routine, or trend in human actions" google AI Patterns can be things we do, ways of thinking or habitual feelings that drive the way we interact, eat, sleep, exercise, work etc etc etc. Almost all behaviour i

Some time ago, I was encouraged to ask myself the question 'what's good to do?' in any given moment, particularly if I was feeling doubtful or unsure. It is a question that has stood me in very good stead since, and so today I wanted to say a little about it. What's good to do? is a question you can ask with various contexts in mind. What's good to do for me? What's good to do for the people I love and/or am responsible to? What's good to do for my community, country, for

I’ve been struck recently by the importance of regulating nervous systems for maintaining mental health. Working with both individuals and couples, it is clear that when your nervous system is activated into a stress response, it becomes very difficult to make reasoned or congruent decisions. The noise of anxiety, anger, panic and other distressed emotions obscure the intuitive sense of what is good to do, and restrict access to cognitive function to enable perspective and ba

I have recently moved, and part of my daily routine now involves a walk through the area near my home. I am blessed to have a short walk through a wooded area, currently covered in wildflowers, beautifully shaded and soft underfoot, it’s a little oasis between the streets beyond and home. It has reminded me of the power of connecting with my own physical nature. Just taking a short while to pause, to breathe in the scents of the woods, and to listen to the sounds of nature ar

I was reminded recently of the synergy between my old profession as a leadership development coach and trainer, and my current work as a psychotherapist. It led me to reflect on the tools and skills that I used in my corporate life when I was working with leaders. The one that stood out to me to talk about was the life balance wheel, which might sound a bit strange given the corporate world's obsession with productivity and results. However, its not as strange as it might s

I moved house a few months ago to a house renovated over the preceding year. Now I am here, the garden project is ongoing. I have really noticed the impact to my state of mind of diggers, delivery lorries, tradespeople...it's not been the usual peaceful environment I go for. It prompted me to write a little about the importance of environment for mental health. I think our living space can both be a reflection of our inner state, and also that it has an impact on us, we ar

"Peace is this moment without thinking that it should be some other way, that you should feel some other thing, that your life should unfold according to your plans. Peace is this moment without judgement, this moment in the Heart-space where everything that is is welcome." Dorothy S Hunt I happened across this quotation in a book recently, and it stilled me. What a beautifully worded reminder of the peace that is always available, regardless of our circumstances or mood.

I wanted to explore two quotations today that speak to me of the work of #psychotherapy and how it can help clients to heal. The first is from Richard Rohr, a priest who advocates for experiencing ourselves directly and having compassion for the marginalised, both inside ourselves and for others: "So many of us carry a kind of unspoken assumption that something is very, very wrong with us, that we're damaged, guilty and unloveable...acknowledging and accepting our fundamenta

Fitting in well with a sick society is not a recipe for health, living congruently with your own values is.

You can live more congruently by identifying your core values, and aligning your time and resources to them, like putting big rocks in a jar before pebbles and sand.

If you’re thinking of working with a therapist, it’s a good idea to be clear about what is prompting you, and what you would like to have happen as you prepare for therapy. A good therapist is sure to ask you what is bringing you and what you want to focus on. Here are some questions to reflect on to help you feel prepared and confident when you are looking for a new therapist: 1. What brings you to therapy? 2. Why now? 3. What are your goals for therapy? 4. What will b

“Losing your way is oftentimes the only way to find something you did not know you were looking for.” I found this quote saved on my phone, unfortunately I cannot recall where I read it. Reading it again it spoke to me and I thought I’d blog about the chord it struck. When we know our way, we have a tendency to be on auto-pilot, navigating confidently along well trodden paths to destinations we perceive we know. It’s easy not to notice what is there along the way, and many pa

"But promise me something, when you meet a young man…Don’t sing his song, because when you split up, you’ll have lost your voice. Harmonies are the way to go, blending together individual pitches, different tones, to form something rather beautiful where each part retains its own character.” I thoroughly enjoy working with couples to help them find balance and satisfaction in their romantic relationships. It’s dynamic, lively work that often moves at a pace, and it also has m

“The quieter you become, the more you are able to hear.” Rumi Oftentimes, clients come into #psychotherapy with a lot to say. Stories, feelings, thoughts and beliefs have been pent up, and the different context gives an outlet for them to flow like a river, as the client freely associates across time and space to tell their story as they perceive it. When this occurs, it’s always a judgement call to work out when to listen, and when to intervene. Bessel can set Kolk wisely c

Here's a reflection on the importance of being honest with yourself about relationships and their dynamics.

You do not need a reason to be as you are. You are you. You are enough. I have been reflecting on the perils of believing that everything must be rationalised, and that reason is all. I often find that people can become trapped in a cycle of thinking, that they must find a reason for whatever is happening. Sometimes, if they can not, they can become stuck and defenceless, unable to act because they can not justify whatever it is that seems good to do. Recognising that r

I learned a new word...and I love learning about language and meanings. So, my word today is antonym. It means the opposite. So, the opposite of dark is light, of up is down, of left is right. Simple, right? Well, not always. Oftentimes in psychotherapy it is very useful to find out what the antonym is for words clients use. For example, a client tells me they do not want to be anxious any more. What does that mean? For one person it may mean they want to be calm. For

“Deep in your wounds are seeds waiting to grow beautiful flowers.” Niti Majethia This idea what what seems to be in the way IS the way is a powerful one. Wounds call our attention to where it is needed, they offer us the opportunity to heal and grow. Like water lilies growing beautiful blooms out of the mud at the bottom of a pond, our pain and suffering are the mud of existence that enable us to grow flowers, some robust and in rude health, others seeming impossibly fragil

Clients come to psychotherapy because they want something to be different to the way things are now. This can be in many different ways,...