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How couples and individual psychotherapy differ

a day ago
2 min

How couples and individual psychotherapy differ

Today I want to reflect on some of the differences between working as a psychotherapist with a couple and with an individual. In a one-to-one therapeutic relationship, the primary dynamic is that between the client and the therapist. We are of course also each in relationship with ourselves, and the pursuit of therapy is to understand more about how the client relates to both themselves and others, to put them at choice about how they may wish to develop this inner and outer

a day ago
1 min

The truth about unwanted arousal

This is an important talk for anyone affected by sexual abuse, as a survivor, or if you work in the criminal justice or social work sectors. Our bodies are not controlled by our minds. We have many processes that are autonomous, and sexual arousal is one of them. Please spread this far and wide, we need to be talking about this important issue. Our bodies do not give consent, we do. Always. https://www.ted.com/talks/emily_nagoski_the_truth_about_unwanted_arousal?utm_campai

The way other people shape us

2 days ago
1 min

The way other people shape us

Do you ever hear yourself say something, and think you sounded just like someone else? It may be a parent, partner, friend, child, anyone close really, even a character from television! We are an amalgam of all of our life experiences, including all the people we have spent time with, in reality and even through media and the arts. We cannot not be influenced by others, we are relational beings. When we are in tune with another, mirror neurons are firing, we are able to empa

2 days ago
1 min

Gabor Mate on addiction and attachment

Here’s a short clip of Gabor Mate talking about addiction, which he defines as “any behaviour that a person finds relief from and therefore craves in the short term, but suffers negative consequences from in the long term and doesn’t give up despite the consequences.” He makes the connection between addiction and our attachment styles and abilities to relate. It’s a compelling watch, and for anyone with behaviours that you want to change but can’t, I’d recommend watching it

Overcoming indifference

2 days ago
2 min

Overcoming indifference

In my work, I work with energy. People come to see a psychotherapist because they want to move towards, or away from experiences. They may seek to be relieved of symptoms, or to create new possibilities and ways of being. What they don’t want is for things to stay as they are. I read this quote recently and found it powerful: “The opposite of love is not hate, it's indifference. The opposite of art is not ugliness, it's indifference. The opposite of faith is not heresy, it

What's your story?

May 1
3 min

What's your story?

I’ve been reflecting this week on the power of the stories we believe about ourselves and about the things that happen to us. It seems to me they can be very powerful at times. When you’re having a challenging time, whether it’s difficulties at work, tensions with family or friends, or even home improvement projects not going smoothly, it can be easy to feel knocked. You might experience anger, frustration, fear, sadness; a whole range of emotions will naturally come up. I

Welcoming what you most want to avoid

May 1
1 min

Welcoming what you most want to avoid

It’s natural to want to turn away from things that make us feel uncomfortable. Our biology is set up to seek out the pleasant, and avoid the unpleasant; this is a key driver of human behaviour. From choices about the kind of work we do to the food we eat, it’s easy to recognise our attraction to the things we feel comfortable with and our aversion to those that unsettle us. The funny thing is, the more we avoid things that trouble us, the more power they seem to get. For e

Psychotherapy

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