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I had a testing experience on holiday, and I wanted to share the reminder it gave me. It's so easy to forget the simple things that can make a different to our lived experience, and it was good to have the opportunity to re-learn. The car we booked in advance for some reason was not administered correctly and we had no transport for our many planned activities in a 10 day trip. We managed to get a tiny car much smaller than we would prefer and we used that for our trips. It

A reflection on how much of our experience is hidden and how beneficial it is to uncover it.

One of the things clients most often want to talk about early in psychotherapy is how they can manage their feelings, or self-regulate. Sometimes feelings are overwhelming, or unpredictable, and sometimes clients find it hard to feel their emotions at all. In this article there are six practical ways you can help yourself with your emotions. You can think of it as working on your relationship with your feelings. After all, feelings are messages, letting you know about somet

I have recently moved, and part of my daily routine now involves a walk through the area near my home. I am blessed to have a short walk through a wooded area, currently covered in wildflowers, beautifully shaded and soft underfoot, it’s a little oasis between the streets beyond and home. It has reminded me of the power of connecting with my own physical nature. Just taking a short while to pause, to breathe in the scents of the woods, and to listen to the sounds of nature ar

"Peace is this moment without thinking that it should be some other way, that you should feel some other thing, that your life should unfold according to your plans. Peace is this moment without judgement, this moment in the Heart-space where everything that is is welcome." Dorothy S Hunt I happened across this quotation in a book recently, and it stilled me. What a beautifully worded reminder of the peace that is always available, regardless of our circumstances or mood.

A really good belly laugh can reduce adrenaline and cortisol and increase endorphins, its good for you!

You can live more congruently by identifying your core values, and aligning your time and resources to them, like putting big rocks in a jar before pebbles and sand.

“The quieter you become, the more you are able to hear.” Rumi Oftentimes, clients come into #psychotherapy with a lot to say. Stories, feelings, thoughts and beliefs have been pent up, and the different context gives an outlet for them to flow like a river, as the client freely associates across time and space to tell their story as they perceive it. When this occurs, it’s always a judgement call to work out when to listen, and when to intervene. Bessel can set Kolk wisely c

I felt moved to write a little about resilience today. Watching a child learn to walk is really interesting. They simply fall down, and then get up, and repeat, and repeat, and repeat. Sometimes a cuddle and some #encouragement is needed, but most often not. They get better and better at walking as their balance improves with each fall and recovery. Seeing all this happen with a wide smile on the young face, the sense of pride and achievement clearly visible, is uplifting.

People come to psychotherapy because there is some sort of gap for them, a difference between how they are / things are, and how they want them to be. Sometimes this is because of a life event or circumstance, sometimes its a relationship that troubles them, and sometimes it's just that life does not feel as vibrant or enjoyable as they want it to be. In today's blog I want to reflect a little on the last of these, that sense of #ennui where there is perhaps listlessness or

I came across a new simple self-soothing technique, and I do love to share ideas when I find something helpful. You're probably well aware that paying attention to, and modifying, your breathing is a powerful way to change your physiological state. When you feel yourself being activated - moving into fight-flight-freeze - you can use the breath to help you restore your body into a relaxed, calm way of being. Here's a great way of doing it. Breath in, and on each out-breath,

I learned a new word...and I love learning about language and meanings. So, my word today is antonym. It means the opposite. So, the opposite of dark is light, of up is down, of left is right. Simple, right? Well, not always. Oftentimes in psychotherapy it is very useful to find out what the antonym is for words clients use. For example, a client tells me they do not want to be anxious any more. What does that mean? For one person it may mean they want to be calm. For

“When there is no enemy within, the enemies outside cannot hurt you.” —Winston Churchill What a superb quote. You can not be manipulated or controlled unless you somehow enable this by gifting the power to the other. When you tame the enemies within - the patterns of thinking, the assumptions, the insecurities, the fears - you can learn to stand strong and to be present in your own energy and stand up for what you believe is right. When you do this, people will sense it and

Using sound to impact mood A wonderful conversation recently reminded me of the power of sound to affect a person’s mental state. Music,...

Reality is a construct, it is our own, individual experience of the things that happen within and around us. Neuro-science is...

Possibility thinking can be a powerful, energising practice. It can also be a boon when times are tough and you are feeling stuck. It’s...

Space matters, and how we treat it matters too. The care we show for the things around us reflects the care we have for ourselves. Our...

Do you feel you are good enough? Adequate? Sufficient? Acceptable and loveable as you are? If you are not feeling enough, you are not...

"Silence is the most powerful scream." I saw this quote, and internally felt a strong ‘ouch.’ It really spoke to me of the unknown...

“The truth is you cannot love yourself unless you have been loved and are loved. The capacity to love cannot be built in isolation.”...