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In personal change terms evolving at a steady pace is a great way to go. Making small changes, consolidating them, and building on them gradually can lead to lasting change that is built on firm foundations. It can be tempting to go for all out revolution and to make big changes or several changes at once. However, anyone who has tried this method of changing habits will likely tell you that it is a hard road and it can be difficult to make change like this stick. Whether you

I was reflecting on the nature of patterns, and took a moment to look up some definitions to help me express what it was I was sensing. The two that resonated were: "an arrangement of repeated or corresponding parts" dictionary.com and "A regular and predictable habit, routine, or trend in human actions" google AI Patterns can be things we do, ways of thinking or habitual feelings that drive the way we interact, eat, sleep, exercise, work etc etc etc. Almost all behaviour i

Some time ago, I was encouraged to ask myself the question 'what's good to do?' in any given moment, particularly if I was feeling doubtful or unsure. It is a question that has stood me in very good stead since, and so today I wanted to say a little about it. What's good to do? is a question you can ask with various contexts in mind. What's good to do for me? What's good to do for the people I love and/or am responsible to? What's good to do for my community, country, for

Here are three inspiration haiku

I have recently moved, and part of my daily routine now involves a walk through the area near my home. I am blessed to have a short walk through a wooded area, currently covered in wildflowers, beautifully shaded and soft underfoot, it’s a little oasis between the streets beyond and home. It has reminded me of the power of connecting with my own physical nature. Just taking a short while to pause, to breathe in the scents of the woods, and to listen to the sounds of nature ar

"Peace is this moment without thinking that it should be some other way, that you should feel some other thing, that your life should unfold according to your plans. Peace is this moment without judgement, this moment in the Heart-space where everything that is is welcome." Dorothy S Hunt I happened across this quotation in a book recently, and it stilled me. What a beautifully worded reminder of the peace that is always available, regardless of our circumstances or mood.

Fitting in well with a sick society is not a recipe for health, living congruently with your own values is.

You can live more congruently by identifying your core values, and aligning your time and resources to them, like putting big rocks in a jar before pebbles and sand.

Here's a blessing from John O'Donohue for the process of ageing.

“Losing your way is oftentimes the only way to find something you did not know you were looking for.” I found this quote saved on my phone, unfortunately I cannot recall where I read it. Reading it again it spoke to me and I thought I’d blog about the chord it struck. When we know our way, we have a tendency to be on auto-pilot, navigating confidently along well trodden paths to destinations we perceive we know. It’s easy not to notice what is there along the way, and many pa

“Losing your way is oftentimes the only way to find something you did not know you were looking for.” I found this quote saved on my phone, unfortunately I cannot recall where I read it. Reading it again it spoke to me and I thought I’d blog about the chord it struck. When we know our way, we have a tendency to be on auto-pilot, navigating confidently along well trodden paths to destinations we perceive we know. It’s easy not to notice what is there along the way, and many pa

Here's a poem I wrote last year, reflecting on connectivity and resonance. I am sparkling sunlight And the still of the night I am cleansing fire And the fertility of the earth I am the howling wind And calm summer days I am the potential of an acorn And the wide arms of the oak I am the grace of the gazelle And the roar of the lion I am the rootedness of mountains And the transience of the clouds I am the softness of the beach And the power of the waves I am the laughter of

“The quieter you become, the more you are able to hear.” Rumi Oftentimes, clients come into #psychotherapy with a lot to say. Stories, feelings, thoughts and beliefs have been pent up, and the different context gives an outlet for them to flow like a river, as the client freely associates across time and space to tell their story as they perceive it. When this occurs, it’s always a judgement call to work out when to listen, and when to intervene. Bessel can set Kolk wisely c

Here's a reflection on the importance of being honest with yourself about relationships and their dynamics.

I felt moved to write a little about resilience today. Watching a child learn to walk is really interesting. They simply fall down, and then get up, and repeat, and repeat, and repeat. Sometimes a cuddle and some #encouragement is needed, but most often not. They get better and better at walking as their balance improves with each fall and recovery. Seeing all this happen with a wide smile on the young face, the sense of pride and achievement clearly visible, is uplifting.

People come to psychotherapy because there is some sort of gap for them, a difference between how they are / things are, and how they want them to be. Sometimes this is because of a life event or circumstance, sometimes its a relationship that troubles them, and sometimes it's just that life does not feel as vibrant or enjoyable as they want it to be. In today's blog I want to reflect a little on the last of these, that sense of #ennui where there is perhaps listlessness or

You do not need a reason to be as you are. You are you. You are enough. I have been reflecting on the perils of believing that everything must be rationalised, and that reason is all. I often find that people can become trapped in a cycle of thinking, that they must find a reason for whatever is happening. Sometimes, if they can not, they can become stuck and defenceless, unable to act because they can not justify whatever it is that seems good to do. Recognising that r

I recently found myself discussing McClelland's theory of needs, a nd it prompted me to blog about it today. McClelland’s theory suggests...

Experience is about patterns. There is structure and form to how we are, to what we perceive and to how we behave. The work of...

Boundaries. A word that is used a lot, to mean many things, like any words its meaning depends on the user and the context. The Cambridge...