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If you’re thinking of working with a therapist, it’s a good idea to be clear about what is prompting you, and what you would like to have happen as you prepare for therapy.  A good therapist is sure to ask you what is bringing you and what you want to focus on. Here are some questions to reflect on to help you feel prepared and confident when you are looking for a new therapist: 1.  What brings you to therapy? 2.  Why now? 3.  What are your goals for therapy? 4.  What will b

“Losing your way is oftentimes the only way to find something you did not know you were looking for.” I found this quote saved on my phone, unfortunately I cannot recall where I read it. Reading it again it spoke to me and I thought I’d blog about the chord it struck. When we know our way, we have a tendency to be on auto-pilot, navigating confidently along well trodden paths to destinations we perceive we know. It’s easy not to notice what is there along the way, and many pa

"But promise me something, when you meet a young man…Don’t sing his song, because when you split up, you’ll have lost your voice. Harmonies are the way to go, blending together individual pitches, different tones, to form something rather beautiful where each part retains its own character.” I thoroughly enjoy working with couples to help them find balance and satisfaction in their romantic relationships. It’s dynamic, lively work that often moves at a pace, and it also has m

Here's a poem I wrote last year, reflecting on connectivity and resonance. I am sparkling sunlight And the still of the night I am cleansing fire And the fertility of the earth I am the howling wind And calm summer days I am the potential of an acorn And the wide arms of the oak I am the grace of the gazelle And the roar of the lion I am the rootedness of mountains And the transience of the clouds I am the softness of the beach And the power of the waves I am the laughter of

“The quieter you become, the more you are able to hear.” Rumi Oftentimes, clients come into #psychotherapy with a lot to say. Stories, feelings, thoughts and beliefs have been pent up, and the different context gives an outlet for them to flow like a river, as the client freely associates across time and space to tell their story as they perceive it.  When this occurs, it’s always a judgement call to work out when to listen, and when to intervene. Bessel can set Kolk wisely c

Here's a reflection on the importance of being honest with yourself about relationships and their dynamics.

Couples often look for creative ways to keep their relationship fresh and exciting, to enhance your connection. One simple yet effective idea is to create a Day Out Jar . This fun activity encourages both partners to contribute ideas for outings they want to try. When a free day comes up, a random idea is drawn from the jar, and the couple commits to doing it together. This approach not only adds variety to your time together but also strengthens your bond through shared expe

Psychotherapy is about making, maintaining, and deepening human connection. Therapy sessions offer the opportunity to relate deeply, to be present with another person without fear of judgement or failure. The role of the psychotherapist is to really show up, to be fully in the room, senses alive, attuning to the person who has chosen to spend time with us. We need to be authentic, to be fully ourselves, and to be available to the client to help them do the work they want an

I felt moved to write a little about resilience today. Watching a child learn to walk is really interesting. They simply fall down, and then get up, and repeat, and repeat, and repeat. Sometimes a cuddle and some #encouragement is needed, but most often not. They get better and better at walking as their balance improves with each fall and recovery. Seeing all this happen with a wide smile on the young face, the sense of pride and achievement clearly visible, is uplifting.

People come to psychotherapy because there is some sort of gap for them, a difference between how they are / things are, and how they want them to be. Sometimes this is because of a life event or circumstance, sometimes its a relationship that troubles them, and sometimes it's just that life does not feel as vibrant or enjoyable as they want it to be. In today's blog I want to reflect a little on the last of these, that sense of #ennui where there is perhaps listlessness or

You do not need a reason to be as you are. You are you. You are enough. I have been reflecting on the perils of believing that everything must be rationalised, and that reason is all. I often find that people can become trapped in a cycle of thinking, that they must find a reason for whatever is happening. Sometimes, if they can not, they can become stuck and defenceless, unable to act because they can not justify whatever it is that seems good to do. Recognising that r

I came across a new simple self-soothing technique, and I do love to share ideas when I find something helpful. You're probably well aware that paying attention to, and modifying, your breathing is a powerful way to change your physiological state. When you feel yourself being activated - moving into fight-flight-freeze - you can use the breath to help you restore your body into a relaxed, calm way of being. Here's a great way of doing it. Breath in, and on each out-breath,

I learned a new word...and I love learning about language and meanings. So, my word today is antonym. It means the opposite. So, the opposite of dark is light, of up is down, of left is right. Simple, right? Well, not always. Oftentimes in psychotherapy it is very useful to find out what the antonym is for words clients use. For example, a client tells me they do not want to be anxious any more. What does that mean? For one person it may mean they want to be calm. For

“Deep in your wounds are seeds waiting to grow beautiful flowers.” Niti Majethia This idea what what seems to be in the way IS the way is a powerful one.  Wounds call our attention to where it is needed, they offer us the opportunity to heal and grow.  Like water lilies growing beautiful blooms out of the mud at the bottom of a pond, our pain and suffering are the mud of existence that enable us to grow flowers, some robust and in rude health, others seeming impossibly fragil

I'm delighted to now be using my married name - Fe Chrichard. Despite my personal name change my business will continue to be Fe Robinson Psychotherapy Ltd for continuity and my contact details remain unchanged. You can get in touch on 01325 790495 or fejrobinson@gmaiul.com .

“When there is no enemy within, the enemies outside cannot hurt you.” —Winston Churchill What a superb quote. You can not be manipulated or controlled unless you somehow enable this by gifting the power to the other. When you tame the enemies within - the patterns of thinking, the assumptions, the insecurities, the fears - you can learn to stand strong and to be present in your own energy and stand up for what you believe is right.  When you do this, people will sense it and

Here are some of the more common anchors I hear that work for people

As a couples therapist I have a responsibility to make sure that my couples clients get the best value possible from the investment they...

I recently found myself discussing McClelland's theory of needs, a nd it prompted me to blog about it today. McClelland’s theory suggests...

Experience is about patterns.  There is structure and form to how we are, to what we perceive and to how we behave.  The work of...