The benefit of silence

“The quieter you become, the more you are able to hear.” Rumi

Oftentimes, clients come into #psychotherapy with a lot to say. Stories, feelings, thoughts and beliefs have been pent up, and the different context gives an outlet for them to flow like a river, as the client freely associates across time and space to tell their story as they perceive it. 

When this occurs, it’s always a judgement call to work out when to listen, and when to intervene. Bessel can set Kolk wisely comments that therapy cannot begin until the client’s nervous system is regulated, and regulated is seldom the emotional state when a client is out-pouring their story.

The art of good therapy is to help clients to feel connected, attuned to, seen and heard, not only by the #therapist, but also by themselves. Finding quietness within can mean a client can hear their own story differently, and when this happens, change often follows.

Music is made up as much by the space between the notes as by the notes themselves. Pausing, breathing, being still in the gaps enable us to feel the ground and our rootedness, and from here, we can sense the melodies and harmonies of our lives as they are woven, and we can change the music. There is a benefit of silence.

On a recent holiday, I found myself much more able to make sense of the patterns and themes that are present in my life just now, much more able to notice my growing edge, and much more able to let the path forward show itself without any intervention from me.

It left me wondering how I bring this sense of space, and of quiet, into my every day, and particularly into my work.  Clients and therapists co-regulate, it is always my job to be calm and still first, as this empowers the client to do likewise.

I’m interested to know, what helps you find your quiet inside?

#mindfulness