Patterns repeat until you address them
- Fe Robinson
- 10 hours ago
- 2 min read
I was reflecting on the nature of patterns, and took a moment to look up some definitions to help me express what it was I was sensing. The two that resonated were:
"an arrangement of repeated or corresponding parts" dictionary.com
and
"A regular and predictable habit, routine, or trend in human actions" google AI
Patterns can be things we do, ways of thinking or habitual feelings that drive the way we interact, eat, sleep, exercise, work etc etc etc. Almost all behaviour is patterned, we are at our core predictable beings and patterns enable us to navigate the world with less conscious effort.
The both wonderful and awful thing about patterns is that by their very nature, they repeat. If its a virtuous pattern that you like this is excellent, long may that repetition last. If its a habit or behaviour you would rather not have, on the surface of it the repetition is a bad thing. The good news in this case though is that you will keep being offered opportunities to change the pattern, because it will keep happening until you do!
The approach I take to #patterns is to get really curious about how exactly they work. Exploring each part of the pattern in turn can reveal a lot of information that may have been outside of awareness. Once you understand exactly how the pattern is made up, the next step is to work out the most impactful place in the sequence to do something different, to disrupt the pattern that is running.
Sounds simple? It's not always easy, for example it can take considerable time, empathy and patience to build up the trust and rapport to make it possible to reveal what has been hiding outside of clear view. Patterns exist for good and important reasons, and it is not wise to de-stabilise them without first creating stabilisers to enable change.
If you have personal or relational patterns that you would like to work with, #psychotherapy may be a useful support for you. If this is the case, get in touch at fejrobinson@gmail.com.
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