In therapeutic work we are addressing the individual and unique expressions that a person has. At the same time, we are working with what it is to be human, and the patterns and energies that get played out in us all, each in our own idiosyncratic way.
Here are three energies that are highlighted by Stephen Gilligan, a teacher I admired in my training, that I find useful to help people kindle in themselves in my therapeutic work in Darlington, and online too:
Fierceness or the Warrior — this energy is the home of your focus, your bullshit detector, your ability to protect yourself and fight your corner, your will to
reach decisions, and to act when needed.
Tenderness or the Lover — this energy is your sense of nurturing, your will to care utterly, to accept, and to have empathy and communion
Playfulness / Mischievousness or the Magician — this energy is the will to playfully explore, to have fun, and wonder; it is the home of absorption, of attention shifting, and of re-framing and changing meaning. It’s the place of transformation.
To find out about these energies in yourself, you might ask:
What are you most naturally doing when you are in a fierce energy?
What are you most naturally doing when you are in a tender energy?
What are you most naturally doing when you are in a playful energy?
You might also reflect on:
Which come naturally to you?
Which are more challenging?
Who role-models each energy for you?
What can you learn from what you have observed them do?
Giving yourself good access to a wide range of energies is important. When times are tough we often lose our connection to play. When we have suffered experiences we found traumatising we may lose our ability to protect ourselves, and/or our sense of love and compassion. There can be many reasons we disconnect, the most important thing is finding our way back to ourself so that we can feel whole.
If you feel as if your emotional range is constricted, or that you want to widen your capacity to love yourself in fierceness, tenderness or play, then get in touch.
