It’s a lovely moment in therapy when a client suddenly gains a new perspective. Oftentimes, the pain that brings people to see me is partially caused by them having a lack of information. I was trained to be very curious about both what is present, and what is not present. There is always more, and when we can wonder and explore, much more will be revealed, and perspectives change.
I like to ask the question ‘what’s good to do?’ For some people, it’s natural to ask this question from the perspective of what is good for other people, they have a tendency to serve. For others, their sole perspective may be themselves and what is good from behind their own eyes. For some it may be more global concerns that drive them, and the wider collective takes precedence over the local.
In truth, information from all these perspectives is really important. There is no one right way to do anything, and no one simple answer to the complex relational issues we deal with. Asking yourself what’s good to do from my perspective, what’s good to do from the perspective of the others involved, and what’s good to do for the community we are part of (and more widely) can help open up a lot of possibilities and considerations.
We exist in relationship, we in fact are the moment to moment result of complex relationships in our own bodies even before we consider the web of relationships and contexts in which we exist. Being mindful of our innate desire and need to connect is a helpful guide when considering what we want to have happen, and what we want to do.
For help in tuning into the systems of which you are a part, consider psychotherapy with a relational practitioner.
