When we think of being in danger, the fight/flight response is perhaps the response that most readily comes to mind. Our sympathetic nervous system is activated and we spring into action, neutralising the threat and restoring safety. You may also have heard of the freeze, or immobilisation response, a more ancient reaction in evolutionary terms. This dorsal-vagal response causes us to shut down and feel frozen, it’s a response to perceptions of extreme danger. What is less s

I had the pleasure of delivering a workshop recently with some Counselling degree students at Bishop Auckland College. I went to talk to them about being an Integrative Psychotherapist, which gave me the opportunity to reflect on who I am as a therapist, and what it is that felt important to impart. One of the themes of our dialogue was about presence and authenticity. Most people know that therapists don’t talk about themselves and the biographical details of their lives,

Often, what brings clients into therapy is a reticence to experience their feelings. This can show up in all sorts of ways, in low mood and depression, in anxiety, in disordered eating, addictions, obsessions and compulsions…there are many mental health conditions that have an aspect of emotional avoidance embedded within them. Andrew Seubert has a simple initialism that provides a process for emotional containment. It succinctly describes the skills that clients may learn,

The opposite of repression and suppression is not expression, its awareness. I heard Andrew Seubert make this excellent observation in a training seminar recently. Oftentimes I hear clients reflect that they would rather not experience what they feel and honestly think, because to do so would be dangerous. If we see the opposite of repression as expression, then indeed, expressing things that challenge others may well at times feel inadvisable or even threatening. It’s impo

I was invited recently to be playful with my elbows, to explore what it’s like to really put them out and take up some space. I confess I was a little taken aback to notice quite how liberating it was...all of a sudden I felt like my personal space had doubled and I had a lot more room to move around in. It’s good to play physically, to do things we don’t normally do with our body. We all have defaults and habits, and they become grooves in which we can get stuck. Patterns

“We don’t perceive the world as it is, we perceive it as it is useful for us to do so.” Anil Seth in Being You Seth’s recent exploration of what consciousness may be in Being You is a thought provoking one. He suggests we perceive things, both in the outside world, and in our own body, in order to maintain life, to continue to exist. His view of consciousness is that it arises from our living beings, and it enables us to sustain ourselves. The usefulness of perception is t

I was listening to Andrew Seubert recently talking about The Courage To Feel. I liked the way he described feelings, as embodied emotional energy. The physicality of this is important, feelings happen in the body, they are visceral. They are also energy, and by definition are continuously changing. Anil Deth points out that we perceive our feelings, we think about them, and we develop beliefs on the basis of them. For example, if your shoulders are tense, you may experie

Every now and again I put together a short digest of the posts that have seemed to resonate with people, and send it out to my subscriber list on my website. Here is my most recent one: https://shoutout.wix.com/so/c1NmosPxi?languageTag=en If you’d like to subscribe, check out the very bottom of my homepage here: https://www.ferobinsonpsychotherapy.co.uk/ #mentalhealth #mentalhealthawareness #psychotherapy #counselling #wellbeing

I often blog about self-help techniques and approaches those interested can use to support their well-being and emotional health. I like people to have as many tools as they need in their hands, to give choice, and to recognise that one size does not fit all, each situation and person is different after all. Techniques and approaches are important, in the therapy room just as in self-help blogging. Therapists need to know how to help a client make sense of their experience,

I first consciously came across the phenomenon of my body moving without my deliberate control when I trained in Neuro-Linguistic Programming. Being invited into an altered state of consciousness would often result in tremors, shakes, and movements that were frankly a bit odd, but also hugely relieving and meaningful. I came to value and enjoy them. Peter Levine’s eloquently explains the important role of shaking, quivering and trembling in releasing trauma from our bodies.

I’m introducing another simple reflection tool today, one I met many moons ago when I trained as a life coach. It’s called a Life Wheel, and it’s a good way of taking stock of how life is feeling for you at the moment and why. First, you need to list out the areas of your life that are important to you. The list won’t be the same for everyone, but often includes dimensions like family, friendships, work, learning, physical health, mental health, leisure, finances and home.

Psychotherapy is intended to be an authentic encounter. An intimate, enabling space in which we as clients can be utterly who we are without condition. A place where we are acknowledged, honoured, and met in our wholeness. This is what gives psychotherapy its healing capacity, and without it, I’m not sure what is achieved. Why is it then that there are commonly held views about taboo subjects that should not be mentioned in the therapy room? Be it politics, religion, sex,

I want to talk today about a simple tool you can use to increase your awareness of how the relationships in your life impact your well-being. You can use it to reflect and consider the changes you might want to make, which relationships to prioritise and nurture, and which to let drift or move away from. All you need to do is draw 4 circles on a page, with a little circle representing you in the middle, and 3 bigger circles around it. The first represents your inner circle,

It’s hard to beat the feeling of really being with someone. That feeling of parent and child spontaneously connecting in an experience. The intimacy of two people who love each other sharing a moment in which they are utterly focused on each other. There is a beauty to attunement, a feeling of being safe, of being at home, of being free to be. This is an experience we are all wired for. We are social animals. In generations past, as for mammals generally, babies must cau

I frequently hear people talk about mindfulness as a way to inner peace. I hear it so often I feel compelled to write a little about my sense of it as a long-term meditator and frequent teacher of mindfulness in a therapeutic context. As a sound bite, it’s easy to perceive mindfulness = inner peace to be a one way ticket to bliss and harmony. While this might seem appealing, it is unfortunately not generally what is experienced with regular meditation and mindfulness practi

Almost at the end of my series on Erik Erikson’s model of psychosocial development, today I am exploring the seventh stage, that of generativity or stagnation. Erikson suggests this is the core development for us in middle adulthood, which he suggested is the period from 40 to 65. This development stage is all about contribution and caring. It’s about knowing that we are generating something, creating a legacy that will outlast and outgrow you, that there is meaning to your

I was reminded recently of the contrast between feeling that I had some control over what happened to me, and of feeling as if life was just happening and I was a passenger along for the ride. It was prompted by an auto-pilot moment where I was imagining I just had to go along with something that was wholly unsatisfactory. Fortunately for me, a colleague was able to challenge my thinking and remind me that I am not a passenger in my own life, I have choices and can exercise

Before you make a change, it is important to be clear about what the current situation gives you. Remember that odd old phrase ‘don’t throw the baby out with the bath water?!’ However awful your mental health symptoms may be, they were once an ideal solution to a problem that was arising for you. For example, your anxiety might help you avoid things you do not want to look at, or perhaps give you a reason to stay away from things you fear. At some point in the past your cur

On a training course a while ago, I heard a metaphor for therapy that I liked. The trainer described the role of a therapist ole as that of a sat-nav. The client is behind the wheel and has to do the driving, while the therapist can support by providing navigational aid. Without the client having a clear destination, there is no navigation. The client decides on their end goal or goals, saying where they want to take themselves. The client then has choices, do they follow

Continuing my series on his model, the sixth stage in Erik Erickson’s model of psychosocial development is that of intimacy and isolation, which he suggested happens in young adulthood, up to the age of 40. Erickson suggests that what is front and centre developmentally through this life stage is the development of loving, intimate relationships. It’s important to note that this does not mean sexual relationships, intimacy means close, honest and loving, it’s about being abl