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  • Fe Robinson

When you just can't take your own advice...

We’re not always in touch with all of the capability, wisdom and resourcefulness we have inside. While we are all multi-faceted, it's easy to get disconnected from our own sense of perspective, humour and groundedness. When this happens, you might not feel at your best, you might get stuck in repeating patterns that you know don’t do you any good, you might even feel like you go round and round in circles.

When simple grounding isn’t quite doing it, another way of getting back in touch is to imagine what someone you really trust would say if you were to ask them. It can be a real friend or family member, a public figure, or even a character from a film. Putting yourself in their shoes and giving yourself advice from their perspective can put you in touch with what you know deep down but can't access right now.

Why stick at one imagined person giving advice? Go for three, and get a wealth of different ways of looking at yourself and what’s happening. This really helps ‘wobble the concrete’ on what you’re thinking and feeling, as one of my therapy trainers used to say. It can be energising and uplifting to realise we have an awful lot of wisdom at our fingertips when we get creative about how to access it.

Another way of helping yourself out is to ask 'if this was my best friend what would I be saying?' Listen to the insight that then ensues. It’s much easier to see the wood for the trees when we are a little removed from a situation, we just see things we can’t see when we’re entangled. Also, we are sometimes much kinder and wiser with other people than we are with ourselves!

When you feel stuck in a rut, have a play with perspectives and see how this opens up new pathways and avenues to explore. Where do you want to go?


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