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  • Fe Robinson

Don't pull yourself together...gather yourself gently

Whatever you do, don't pull yourself together. Don't pull yourself at all. Being pulled is seldom a nice experience. Add the edge of an assumption that you are somehow dispersed or not together and that there is a better, more unified way you should be, it seems to me running for the hills and freedom may be a more suitable response than pulling yourself together!

Rather, gather yourself. In those moments where you feel discombobulated or scattered; lovingly, tenderly get your arms around each part of yourself and ask, would you like to come closer? When we attune to ourselves internally, we can foster a sense of inner community and invite harmony in our multiplicity, making space for our varied ways of being in the world.

We are not one homogenous presence. We each have a variety of relationships, and in them a variety of roles. You may be a child, a sibling, a partner, a parent, a friend, a colleague, a volunteer, a team member and on and on and on. Different dimensions of you show up in different ways in different places.

As yet, neuro-scientists have not pointed to a singular place/part within us that is our sense of self. Rather, it seems we are meaning makers, refining our predictions of what sensory data means on an ongoing basis, more of a network than a centrally controlled being.

We are internally diverse, and yet, we are also an integrated, cohesive whole. The one does not take away from the other, on the contrary it enhances it. Steve Gilligan invites us to hold on 'not too tight, not too loose.' Finding that sweet spot of balance and harmony, when you need protection and nurture, gather yourself, gather yourselves, and come gracefully alongside all that you are and all you can be. When you do, your potential is endless.

For help in sponsoring your disparate energies and forgotten aspects, consider psychotherapy. Psychotherapy is as beneficial for personal growth and exploration as it is for relieving distress and creating healing.


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