Extending trust can be a risky business, and it’s often worth it.
We have a choice with trust, we can grant it, or we can wait until people earn it. There is no right answer or magic formula, it’s about making mindful choices and recognising these choices are ones we make moment to moment, and that they are positions we can change as and when we need to.
Safety comes from relationship. We are none of us truly safe in isolation. We are social and interdependent beings, wired for connection. We learn our sense of safety from our relationships when we are small, and we can repair it when things have gone wrong from relationships at any time in life, including but certainly not in any way limited to doing so in therapeutic work.
Knowing your natural orientation to others and your perception of safety and danger is important. It enables you to name and tame difficult body reactions and emotions when they come, and to move yourself back into a self-regulated state from which you can exercise choice.
If you struggle with relating to others and feel at risk when you do, you do not need to keep suffering this. Psychotherapy including attachment and trauma focused work can make a big difference. Why not search the UKCP directory and find a therapist to work with that feels a good fit for you?
