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Discovering unconscious relationship patterns

Fe Robinson

Discovering unconscious patterns


I was teaching at Bishop Auckland College last week, introducing some concepts from Neuro-Linguistic Programming (#NLP) to their Counselling Degree students. I wanted to share one of the unusual techniques we talked about, it can be fun to do, and also be illuminating.


Judith DeLozier, an early NLP exponent, articulated many techniques designed to access unconscious wisdom, going beyond what we know and think to what is held intuitively in our bodymind. Here’s an Intuitive Modelling exercise evolved from her work:


Identify a relationship you are in that you would like to focus on. Answer the following questions instinctively, without thinking or analysing, and note down your spontaneous answers, or even better, speak them out and have someone else capture them for you:


  • If this relationship were an animal, which animal would it be?

  • And which colour?

  • And which shape?

  • And which mythical figure?

  • And which film character?

  • And which plant?

  • And which symbol?

  • And which name?


Take a few moments to reflect on the patterns evident in what you identified. Notice the meanings you give to this. What else might it mean? And what else?


I wonder if the other person in the relationship might describe it similarly, or differently?




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