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  • Fe Robinson

Welcoming what you most want to avoid

It’s natural to want to turn away from things that make us feel uncomfortable. Our biology is set up to seek out the pleasant, and avoid the unpleasant; this is a key driver of human behaviour. From choices about the kind of work we do to the food we eat, it’s easy to recognise our attraction to the things we feel comfortable with and our aversion to those that unsettle us.

The funny thing is, the more we avoid things that trouble us, the more power they seem to get. For example, not putting yourself ‘out there’ because you are nervous or afraid might feel better in the short term, but over time you may become more and more anxious about social situations or networking, and the problem can escalate.

When we stop avoiding and start approaching, something quite special happens. When you begin to explore what is happening and to make peace with the uncomfortable feelings, the feelings begin to lose their grip. It’s as if when the resistance goes, so does the problem. It’s a magical change to experience.

So, what is it you would rather not look at? Taking progressively longer peeks until you are right there looking it in the eye might feel daunting, but in the long term it will set you free.


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