It is a common wish, isn’t it, the desire to go back. ‘I wish things were the way they used to be’ or ‘I wish we got on like we did before’ are laments that are so commonly heard, and they are natural. Most of us can recall sunnier days in our lives and relationships, the wish to return is heart-felt and sincere.
However, what went before is what led here. Were there any way to go back, which there currently isn’t, it’s important to recognise that if you did, in time, you would likely end up where you currently are. Each experience from the past joins together to contribute to the experiences of life you currently have.
And so, grieving the loss of what you valued but no longer have is essential. Remembering with pleasure and joy what has passed on can be bittersweet, but is an important part of allowing the past to be the past, and stepping into the present.
In your present, you shape your future. Each thought, action and reaction move you towards where you are going, and that is something that gives you influence and opportunity to invite more of what you want, and less of what you do not want, into your life now and in the future.
Our personal development, and lives, are not linear, it seems to me they are more cyclical in nature. Themes emerge, and pass on, and if unresolved they return. I often smile a wry smile to notice the generosity of the way the same stuff comes up again and again, willing me to take note and to do something different.
When you find yourself longing for the past, take a moment to really savour what you valued that you miss. Notice how, given the circumstances of now, you can weave more of that into your current life. The form of it will most likely be different, but what it offers you may have resonance and connection to past gifts and treasures.
Nothing lasts forever, not even us. Allowing what you love and value to be free and move through invites abundance. Not too tight, not too loose, holding things with tenderness and love allows life to flow, and balance to be found, and re-found, and re-found as our circumstances and beings change.