I took part in some training a short while ago that finished with the wonderful invitation to be fluid, and imperfect. The trainer was noticing that intention is everything, and that it is often better to say what is on your mind, however clumsy you might be, than to hold back and be hemmed in by the desire to get it right or be perfect.
To me this is a powerful invitation that resonates deeply with my way of being both professionally and personally. It seems so much more useful to ‘go there,’ to give voice to the unspoken, to shine light in the murky corners, than to leave shame to grow in the shadows where we dare not look.
In psychotherapy the therapist’s role is to co-create a space with the client where any truth can be spoken and held. It’s an intimate creation between the participants, a rapport that can hold what needs holding, giving space for healing and growth. Along the way there will be many stumbles and stutters, many times where understanding is not perfectly shared, and where ruptures may occur. While no-one aims for this, it need not be a problem. Learning to name discomfort, to be vulnerable, and to learn together are powerful lessons, and can deepen and broaden relational skills, for client and therapist alike.
Any relationship is fluid, imperfect, and ever changing. Entering into them mindful of this, ready to flow and evolve dynamically is an energising way to be. It’s not always easy, but the rewards are immense.
In which relationships could you do with upping your fluidity? What imperfections do you need to name to tame?
