Blog

Sometimes there are no words. Awful things happen to those we love and we simply do not know what to do or say. This can be a very...

I remember coming across the idea of your heart smiling in Elizabeth Gilbert’s book Eat, Pray, Love, at the time it really lit me up. ...

"We all need freedom and security, which is why when the world doesn’t feel safe, we often don’t feel as free." Esther Perel At first...

Not so long ago, the thought of 'living in sin' as a stable family unit, of same sex marriages, of gay couples raising children or of...

I watched Hannah Gadesby’s show Douglas recently, and along with the many, many laughs she provoked, she spoke of a truth that resonated...

I've been writing recently about regulating your nervous system to be grounded and calm to give yourself the flexibility to feel and...

A theme in therapeutic work is the way relationships can rupture and repair. Both for couples, and for individuals, this is often a...

In recent months I have been delving into Brown and Elliott’s comprehensive book about Attachment Disturbances in Adults. It’s a...

When I heard the phrase ‘don’t abandon yourself’ recently, it resonated deeply. It struck me as I pondered that it’s easy sometimes to...

In my reading lately about Trauma and our responses to it, I’ve been drawn to noticing the fawn response, which is not talked about so...

I blogged recently about the cost of not having an ending, of what happens when a relationship just stops, without it’s passing being...

I want to reflect today on the idea of leaving well. So often in modern living I hear stories of people disappearing from the lives of...

Feeling insignificant and invisible while in relationships is sadly not an uncommon experience. Therapeutically and in life more...

“When I am at home with myself, everything I do ends as a love poem” Yeats What we experience depends on our state, on our way of being,...

I often say I like contact with other people to be real. A few weeks ago, someone curiously asked, what does real mean to me? It was an...

I’ve recently been reading Daniel Brown and David Elliott’s work about attachment difficulties, which focuses on how to help adults who...

A colleague described beautifully to me the other day the power of unspoken communication in families. You know…the looks. The sighs. ...

Discovering unconscious patterns I was teaching at Bishop Auckland College last week, introducing some concepts from Neuro-Linguistic...

People are generally familiar with the idea that when someone dies, we grieve. There are many ways of describing the process grief might...

When people come into therapy to talk about relationship problems, they often feel that there must be something wrong with them. This is...