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  • Fe Robinson

What don't you want to talk about?

Sometimes we unconsciously go to great lengths to avoid what we feel. We may choose not to look too closely, perhaps putting our unease to the back of our mind, or shrugging it off and carrying on regardless.

And sometimes this works. Where a discomfort is fleeting and context specific, it will pass. Sometimes though, feelings and emotions are our system's way of communicating with us, and they may have a message we need to hear.

Then, the feeling will be recurrent. It will come up again and again, perhaps more and more intensely, as if it is trying to make it harder for us to ignore it.

If we resist, then our defences will need to increase too. Symptoms like anxiety or low mood may develop as we turn away from what we feel but need more and more distance to avoid feeling it.

So what can we do?

We can be authentic. We can tell ourselves the truth of our experience. We can stop, turn inwards, and admit, there is something calling us, and it hurts. We can acknowledge that we are in emotional pain. That we are afraid it will overwhelm us. That we need comfort and support.

It is not easy to be real with what is going on inside. But nor is it easy to live with the consequences if you do not. Connection and healing may not be pain free, but they are a sustainable way to emotional health.

You may need help and support to go there. You may reach out to friends and family, you may want to ask for professional help. Only you can know what will enable you best.

So, what don't you want to talk about?


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