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  • Fe Robinson

The loss inherent in love

"Everything you love will probably be lost, but, in the end, love will return in a different way."

Franz Kafka

This quote touched me deeply when I read it; it is poignant, true, and filled with a sense of the completeness of life and human experience. Love is one of the most profound, and deeply ordinary experiences we humans can have. We are wired for love from the beginning, it is a hard-wired circuit essential to our survival as fragile, dependent babies, and one that endures through life to help us form bonds and to interact with our families of origin and then our families of choice.

Love is more than simply an emotion. To love is to act, to do something with what we feel, to reach out, to relate, to be intimate and true, to really be seen, just as we are. To love is a risk, we venture our heart, knowing that nothing and no-one is permanent, and everything we hold dear will continually change, and in the end, will probably be lost.

Love is not simple, nor often is it easy. It requires faith, courage, integrity, and a deep honesty first with with yourself, and in time with others. Love exists in all relationships, not just the romantic or family ones. Psychotherapy to me is an engagement with love, the sincere, open holding of another’s pain, questioning and vulnerability. A willingness to travel deeply and honestly into our depths, there to find the healing and self-knowledge that will bring us home.

Love matters. A lot. If relating and finding connection is something you find hard in life, you may want to consider beginning to experiment and explore this in a therapeutic context. If so, get in touch.


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