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  • Fe Robinson

What you resist will persist

It’s natural to want to turn away from things that make us feel uncomfortable. Our biology is set up to seek out the pleasant, and avoid the unpleasant; this is a key driver of human behaviour. From choices about the kind of work we do to the food we eat, its easy to recognise an attraction to the things we feel comfortable with and an adversion to those that unsettle us.

The funny thing is, the more we avoid things that trouble us, the more power they seem to get. For example, a client not putting themselves ‘out there’ because they are nervous or afraid might have felt better in the short term, but over time they may have become more and more anxious about social situations or networking, and the problem has grown arms and legs.

When we stop avoiding and start approaching, something quite special happens. Time and again with clients, when they begin to explore what is happening for them and to make peace with the uncomfortable feelings that are there, the feelings they have avoided begin to lose their grip. It’s as if when the resistance goes, so does the problem. It’s a magical change to experience.

So, what is it you body-swerve and would rather not look at? What is the elephant lurking in the corner in your workplace? What do you not talk about that is on your mind a lot? Taking an initial look and progressively longer peeks until you are right there looking it in the eye might feel daunting, but in the long term it will set you free.

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