Does your behaviour depend on your mood? If so, that’s pretty normal. It's easy for this to be the case, for example, when you feel low you might not socialise or get out to do things. When you feel anxious,you may avoid challenging situations.
The problem with this is that the avoiding behaviours that result can make the problem worse, deeper and more embedded. It’s a bit like being a sail boat, but letting yourself drift at mercy to the whims of the tide.
While it’s tough to start with, a more helpful approach is to set your sails to the wind and waves, and navigate to where you want to be. Essentially you do what is good to do, regardless of how you feel. An example might be the reluctant exerciser who goes to the gym despite feeling drained, and comes out with more energy than she went in with. The art is to find a stretch that is just enough to expand your comfort zone, but not so big that you are unable to follow through, and risk ending up feeling worse.
To begin this shift to behaviour independent of mood, you may want to think of yourself as being more than just your feelings, to sense the ways in which you are bigger and more enduring than them. You may well want therapeutic support to help you get going, and to cheer you on as you sustain your efforts. You can then begin to get to the bottom of what had you feeling as you did in the first place, and from that deeper healing can come.
For compassionate, supportive psychotherapy, get in touch.
