What don't you want to talk about?
by Fe Robinson
For a variety of reasons, it can be a struggle to know what to say when you come to psychotherapy. It may be that there is so much to say that you don't know where to start. It may be that it has all been said and you don't know where next. It may be that you are not used to talking and literally are at a loss.
The temptation is to pass the responsibility to your therapist and ask them to guide the session. While this may, if they go for it, give temporary relief from your discomfort, it does not enable you to find your own way and can actually be counter-productive.
A good question to ask yourself when you are unsure where to go is what do I not want to talk about? The things you would like to avoid and leave unsaid are oftentimes the most potent to give voice to. They are more often than not where the true work of psychotherapy is at. The surface, obvious issues are ones that you will have reflected on at length already, and where change is more superficial.
Uncomfortable, deep patterns that evoke strong responses can usefully be brought into the room in psychotherapy, once a strong, trusting relationship has been established. There may be uncomfortable silences. There may be emotion. In the longer term however, there may well be relief and movement.
For help facing what currently feels unfaceable, get in touch.