Sitting with the impossible
by Fe Robinson
Sometimes life is heart-breaking. Things happen that just shouldn't. Chronic illnesses, early deaths, and many other challenging life circumstances are things we can control. Sometimes we find ourselves needing to bear things that we would have anticipated to be far beyond our capacity before they happened. Before it happened, we might have thought it impossible to face.
I am consistently humbled by the capacity of the human spirit to find a way through. Psychotherapy provides a setting for anything and everything to be revealed, for the truly awful to be given room to breathe, releasing the tension of holding it inside.
Sometimes there are no answers. No wands to be waved. No simple reframes that suddenly make it feel OK. Sometimes just sitting, being with what is, is enough. Being heard and honoured, our experience accepted and validated, sometimes the telling of the story and hearing our truth as it comes out is all that can be done, all that is needed.
When we face loss, there is a tendency to question, to doubt, to play it over again and again in our mind, searching for what we could have done differently. Noticing this, you may become aware of the depth of your caring and love. When you feel a lot of love, loss hurts a great deal. What hurts tells us a great deal about what we value.
Whatever you are facing, it's important to know that you were, and are, sufficient. You are enough. Life can be hard enough without adding to your suffering with self-judgement.
Sometimes what is needed is to breathe, and to be still. If you would like to explore difficult times and be met, just as you are, then get in touch.